From Bump 2 Balance

Rediscovering Myself Beyond Motherhood

As mothers, losing our identity outside of motherhood is a concern that many of us face—and it’s one I found myself grappling with too. However, I soon realized that being a mother and having a family is just one beautiful chapter in my ever-evolving journey. I feel incredibly blessed to identify as a mother; it’s a truly fulfilling experience! There are so many women who, for various reasons, may never have the opportunity to enjoy the joys of motherhood. Words can’t quite express the joy Sadie has brought into my life. While my career gave me direction, my daughter gives my life meaning, and our family infuses it with purpose. I absolutely adore being a mother!

It’s no secret that I’m a mom, but that doesn’t define or consume me. I actively carve out time for self-care—whether it’s getting my hair done, indulging in a mani/pedi, enjoying a massage, or reading books that pique my interest rather than solely parenting or child-development texts. Striking a balance between what matters to you and your responsibility as a mother is crucial. To be clear, there are no secret tricks here; it’s simply a reality that your life will change, and that change shouldn’t be seen as something terrible. Sometimes, you must shed the old skin to grow into the new you!

I completely understand that this realization can be daunting. During my pregnancy, I went through a period of mourning for the old me while simultaneously embracing and welcoming the new me—this new mom!

I try to keep in mind that this phase is temporary; it’s just a moment in time. However, my situation might be unique because I waited until I was 39 to have a baby. I had 21 years of living life on my own terms, selfishly. In this first year of Sadie’s life, I quickly learned that I won’t always be able to attend every social gathering—especially if they aren’t kid-friendly. I won’t always be able to meet up with my girlfriends or do all those exciting things I once wanted to experience, and I’ve made peace with that.

I’ve come to terms with the understanding that some things will inevitably take a back seat. In the grand scheme of it all, Sadie won’t stay little forever; she won’t always want my cuddles or have those tiny little feet. I won’t get a redo of her childhood, so I much prefer to be present for her. This is how I’ve accepted parenthood: it’s messy and unpredictable, but it’s also remarkably rewarding. I learned early on to embrace the chaotic beauty of parenthood. We’ve made plans and looked forward to events that we’ve had to cancel because Sadie is our priority—whether she’s unwell or napping, we don’t want to disturb her. Those are the sacrifices we willingly make as her parents.

Here are some things that have helped me along the way:

Prioritize Self-Care: Make time to get out of the house and prioritize personal time! Enjoy that long shower, treat yourself to a massage, have your hair washed and styled, grocery shop alone, take a nap without the kids, or dress up and wear something cute! For me, making self-care a priority is essential. Brandon understands the importance of this, too—he takes care of Sadie so I can have that extra time to just be me.
Nurture Hobbies and Interests: Try to carve out time for your passions. For me, that’s this blog, which I write at night after Sadie is asleep. I also wanted to get back into exercising, so I do yoga and Pilates by following YouTube videos at home when I can. Walking with another mom in the neighborhood or tossing Sadie into her stroller for a quick 30-minute outdoor break also works wonders for me. Meal prepping in stages while feeding Sadie helps me maintain our routine. I cook my meals while she enjoys her high chair time!
Maintain Social Connections: I stay connected with my friends through group chats and make it a point to see them whenever I can—even if that means bringing Sadie along. Our conversations generally revolve around various topics, not just about the kids. I have lost touch with some friends who aren’t parents, and I’ve come to realize they weren’t worth keeping. After moving and having Sadie, I’ve found friends who check in, visit, and genuinely put in the effort to maintain our friendship. Those are the friends I want—the ones who stand by you, no matter what. Plus, I’ve been fortunate to connect with two other moms who have babies around Sadie’s age. It’s been fantastic!
Seek Support: If you’re struggling, please seek support! After our car accident (when Sadie was just 3.5 months old), I realized I wasn’t okay. Wanting to overcome my fear, I asked my OB-GYN for recommendations. This led me to a postpartum therapist who was also a mother. We held virtual appointments for seven months, and her support was invaluable. She helped me navigate the myriad of feelings I experienced as a first-time mom.
Establish Boundaries: Setting boundaries with friends and family (especially family!) is vital. Families often feel entitled to share their parenting advice, but what may have worked for them may not suit you! You need to define what’s best for your family and how you raise your children. Brandon and I have chosen to follow positive discipline techniques, and we’re even taking parenting classes for reinforcement. We’ve also had discussions with our parents about how we wish to communicate with Sadie regarding various topics, including religion. When your child gets sick, friends might offer TikTok remedies they think worked for someone they don’t even know. When people give me unsolicited advice about Sadie, I thank them and reassure them that we’re following our pediatrician’s guidance. At the end of the day, I trust my pediatrician—who is not only a licensed professional but also a mother of five—more than I would a social media influencer. Ultimately, these decisions are yours to make.
Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations: Letting go of the idea of being a “perfect” mother is crucial. Expect chaos because things will inevitably go awry, and that’s okay! Perfection doesn’t exist; we all mess up sometimes. Acknowledge your successes, even if small. Did you nurse today? Take her for a walk? Make her laugh? Then celebrate those wins! There will be tough days. I turned my back for a moment while Sadie was on the bed, and she fell, hitting her head on the floor. We ended up at the ER on our pediatrician’s advice, but thankfully, she was okay! Did I feel guilty, of course! I cried alongside her. However, what matters is that I scooped her up instinctively, grabbed an ice pack, and called our doctor immediately. I cradled Sadie, kissed her, and expressed how sorry I was. That day doesn’t define me as a mother; what defines me is my instinct to love, nurture, and comfort her. You don’t need perfect photos, a flawless Christmas card, or a picture-perfect first birthday. You have nothing to prove to anyone. The only happiness that matters is your child’s.

I encourage you to reflect on what type of mother you want to be and identify what truly matters to help you achieve that vision.

Let me know in the comments below if this post resonates with you!

Understanding the Difference Between Sickness and Teething Symptoms

Sadie recently spiked a 101° fever virtually overnight. As we navigated the challenges of routine sickness and teething, I thought it would be helpful to share our experiences and some practical tips with you. Remember, always consult your pediatrician before trying new remedies.

Recognizing Teething vs. Sickness

Teething can be mistaken for illness because several symptoms overlap, such as:

Slight fever
Stuffy nose
Irritability

For us, teething was particularly intense around 10 and 14 months. Sadie would cry for 20–30 minutes before bed—a heart-wrenching time for any parent. Rather than immediately reaching for over-the-counter medications, we found that using:

Cold teething rings
Frozen washcloths
Teething toys

often provided gentle relief. On days when the discomfort was overwhelming, we did administer baby Tylenol or Motrin based on guidance from our pediatrician. I also discovered a homeopathic remedy called Camilla, which my friend recommended; it worked nicely for Sadie and other children.

Telltale Signs: Is It Teething or Sickness?

It’s important to know when to suspect your baby is actually sick rather than simply teething. Here are some pointers:

Teething Indicators:

Mild or Temporary Fever: Slight elevation in temperature (often below 100.4°F) that is short-lived.
Gum Discomfort: Increased drooling, swollen or tender gums.
Irritability: Fussiness and mild crankiness, especially around the time a new tooth is emerging.
Normal Activity Levels: Despite some discomfort, many babies remain relatively active, playful, and continue to feed well.
Expected Timing: Teething usually starts around 6 months and can continue intermittently until about 2 years of age.

Signs of Sickness:

High or Persistent Fever: A fever that spikes above 101°F and doesn’t subside, or any fever over 103°F as seen during other illnesses.
Lethargy: Noticeable decrease in energy or activity levels; your baby might seem unusually sleepy or hard to wake.
Additional Symptoms: Significant cough, congestion beyond nasal stuffiness, vomiting, diarrhea, or rash.
Poor Feeding or Hydration: Refusal to eat or drink, which is uncommon with simple teething discomfort.
Duration of Symptoms: Symptoms that persist or worsen over several days warrant a closer look from your pediatrician.

If any of these signs of sickness are observed, especially if multiple symptoms are present, it’s important to reach out to your doctor for proper evaluation.

Managing Symptoms: Our Go-To Remedies

Whether dealing with teething or sickness, these remedies have been our lifesavers:

Nasal Spray and Boogie Suckers:

We use nasal spray to relieve congestion, complemented by Frida boogie suckers and traditional bulb aspirators. Although Sadie isn’t always thrilled with the latter, they help clear her nasal passages.

Boogie Wipes and Gel:

These are especially useful during chilly seasons when extra snot becomes an issue, keeping her nose gently clean without irritation.

Steam Therapy:

A hot shower together provides steam that loosens mucus, making it easier for her to breathe when she’s congested.

Hydration:

Keeping a baby hydrated is crucial. We breastfed or used a sippy cup once she was around six months old. Adequate fluids can alleviate many symptoms.

Vicks and Sleep Positioning:

When Sadie shows signs of coming down with something, I apply baby Vicks to her feet, chest, and back. Additionally, I use nasal spray as part of our bedtime routine, making sure she’s safely propped up during sleep, especially when we co-sleep.

Temperature and Fever Management

Accurate temperature monitoring is essential during any bout of illness. We’ve found that rectal thermometers are the most reliable. For example, during a pink eye episode, Sadie’s fever reached 103°. Our pediatrician advised:

Administering Tylenol or Motrin to manage the fever
Using wet cloths on her forehead to keep her comforted
Ensuring plenty of hydration through nursing and fluids

Introducing Cough Remedies

At 11 months, we added Zarbee’s cough syrup—again, only after consulting with our pediatrician. This gentle, nighttime remedy has helped Sadie rest better when she has a cough. I made sure to avoid honey products at her age.

Dealing with Constipation

Constipation can be challenging, particularly during the introduction of solid foods. Once Sadie began eating a variety of foods, we turned to:

Pedia-lax: This remedy provided much-needed relief.

A Note on Communication

The most important tip of all: stay in close contact with your pediatrician. Whether you’re a new or seasoned mom, the guidance from your doctor is invaluable—especially when it comes to managing sickness and teething symptoms.

Your Turn to Share!

I’d love to hear from all the moms out there! What teething or sickness remedies have worked for you? Let’s share our experiences in the comments below so we can all learn and support each other.

Striking a Balance Between Career Ambitions and Motherhood

You might have noticed that I skipped a blog post last week, and I’ve been reflecting on how to give myself grace for my inconsistency. I kept promising myself, “Tomorrow, I’ll write it.” But, as is often the case, tomorrow turned into next week. While I can afford to delay my writing, I can’t postpone the crucial projects at work.

This past week has been a whirlwind, with my career demanding my full attention. It was a short holiday week, packed with deadlines, and I found myself eager to go the extra mile. After long days at work, I’d quickly transition into “mom mode,” but I admit I often feel drained, struggling to keep up with my daughter. In those moments of fatigue, I’ve resorted to turning on the TV—a guilty pleasure—to give both of us a little downtime. We often end up watching Ewan McGregor’s documentary, Long Way Home, which has become a shared indulgence.

So, why the guilt? It stems from my internal battle with feelings of selfishness as I pursue my career ambitions. I’ve been fortunate to receive incredible opportunities, and I want to seize them to showcase my talents. Yet, I can’t shake the nagging worry that this ambition might come at a cost—specifically, the time I spend with Sadie. As she’s in daycare from Monday to Friday, I want to cherish every minute we have together. Whether we’re snuggled on the couch, coloring, or building with blocks, I can see how much she treasures those moments. When I’m fully engaged, our time is filled with laughter and learning, creating memories I know will last a lifetime.

One of the toughest challenges of motherhood is placing my career on the back burner. I understand this phase is temporary, and I genuinely believe that I won’t regret prioritizing my daughter in the long run. I’m learning to appreciate the fact that while my colleagues may be advancing in their careers, I’m choosing to invest in my family right now, and that’s perfectly okay.

As I navigate these toddler years, I’m realizing that finding a balance between my professional aspirations and my role as a devoted mommy is a delicate dance. I would love to hear from you about how you manage the juggling act of career and parenting. Have you discovered a rhythm that helps you maintain a strong connection with your child(ren)? Please share your insights in the comments—I’m eager to learn from your experiences!

Breastfeeding: A Blend of Joys and Challenges

This past week has been an emotional rollercoaster for me, and I feel compelled to share my experience with all of you. As you know, my sweet Sadie has been growing up right before my eyes, and with that growth comes a bittersweet challenge.

For the last month, I’ve noticed a decline in my milk supply, and my nursing routine has dwindled down to just once a day. This past week, however, was particularly tough. Sadie has become increasingly frustrated with my breasts, signing “more” while I gently responded with “all done.” It’s gut-wrenching to deny her, and I can’t quite put into words the emotional weight that that carries. Our nursing bond has been something truly special—an intimate connection just between the two of us.

Surprisingly, I’ve come to cherish nursing, especially considering my initial fears during pregnancy. I was terrified! The thought of breastfeeding made me anxious. My maternal instincts battled against my preconceived notions; I thought of my breasts as symbols of pleasure, not nourishment. I spent countless hours overthinking every detail. But when Sadie finally arrived, all of that fear dissipated in an instant.

I vividly recall the moment the nurse asked if I was breastfeeding. I nodded, but part of me wanted to add a caveat. However, before I knew it, she had placed Sadie on my breast, and just like that, my baby girl latched on perfectly. It felt so natural, like we were meant to do this together.

Of course, there were bumps along the way. In the hospital, I struggled with Sadie latching onto my left nipple; the stress of learning while juggling visitors overwhelmed me. Once we were home, however, everything clicked. Sadie became a nursing superstar, easily latching on and feeding comfortably in various positions. I learned to trust my instincts and let her lead the way, feeding her on demand and recognizing her cues.

As we navigated our breastfeeding journey, I sought the guidance of seasoned mamas and drew upon their invaluable wisdom. I discovered that milk supply truly depends on demand. To support my production, I incorporated lactation cookies and teas into my routine.

My confidence in breastfeeding blossomed alongside Sadie. Whether in a restaurant, on a flight, or even in a tattoo parlor, I nursed her anywhere and everywhere. If she was hungry, I didn’t hesitate—I felt no shame in providing for her. I even embraced the realities of being a working mom, pumping when needed and sometimes resorting to desperate measures to relieve engorgement. Yes, I’ve even “milked” myself like a cow when caught without my pump!

When Sadie was about 9 months old, we began supplementing with formula, and by the time she turned one, we introduced cow’s milk. Our routine became a blend of nursing in the mornings and at night, while she enjoyed cow’s milk during the day. Around this time, I also battled mastitis—oh, the pain! But through it all, I remained committed to nursing, grateful for the bond we had built despite the hurdles.

Now, as I reflect on this past week, I find myself feeling a mix of sadness and gratitude. I’m thankful that I embraced breastfeeding, and I’ve come to appreciate the joy of nursing for as long as I did. It’s not just about the act of feeding; it’s about the moments we shared, the bond we built, and the love that flourished between us as mother and daughter.

Sadie is being naturally weaned, and while it’s hard to let go, I understand it’s a part of her growing up. I’ve spoken with other mothers about their weaning experiences, and it’s comforting to know there’s no single “right” way to navigate this phase. I realize my sadness isn’t solely about weaning; it’s also about how quickly she’s growing up. Time is fleeting, and while I cherish every moment, I can’t help but wish it would slow down just a little.

I’d love to hear from all of you! Share your highs and lows with nursing in the comments below. Let’s support one another on this beautiful yet challenging journey of motherhood!

With Love,

Evy Marie

Sadie at one month, blissfully milk drunk after nursing.

Going with the Toddler Flow

Ah, Father’s Day—an occasion brimming with expectations and dreams of delightful family outings. This past Sunday, I envisioned a picturesque bike ride to brunch with Brandon and our spirited toddler, Sadie. The sun was shining, the weather was perfect, and the excitement in the air was palpable. But as any parent of a toddler knows, sometimes the best-laid plans can take a detour.

As Brandon pulled out our bikes, I found myself in full-on preparation mode: packing snacks, sunscreen, and water for Sadie. It took a good 40 minutes of back and forth before we were finally ready to hit the road. The anticipation was infectious as we pedaled down the street, but that’s when our little adventure hit a bump.

Sadie, our fearless little explorer, had other ideas. The helmet became an immediate source of protest. Despite our best efforts to demonstrate safety in a silly fashion—yes, we wore her helmet on our heads—she was not convinced. As we began our ride, she squirmed, kicked, and voiced her displeasure loudly. It was clear: our biking adventure was not going as planned.

After a few last-ditch efforts involving crackers and reassurances, we realized it was time to pivot. We turned around and opted for a peaceful stroll instead, hoping to salvage the day. While I could see the disappointment flicker across Brandon’s face, we both understood that parenting is often about rolling with the punches—especially at this toddler stage.

What I learned that day is invaluable: managing expectations with a toddler is key to maintaining your sanity and enjoying the little moments. With Sadie teething and experiencing sleepless nights, our meticulously crafted plans unraveled, reminding us that toddlers operate on their own schedule. So, instead of feeling frustrated, we embraced the unexpected.

Now, when I make plans with friends while juggling parenting, I always preface it with a disclaimer: “Let’s tentatively plan!” It’s become a mantra that allows for flexibility. If Sadie is in good spirits, we enjoy our time together; if not, we know it’s okay to reschedule.

Brandon and I have found comfort in knowing that this phase of life is temporary and that our little one’s happiness is our priority. While it’s easy to feel disappointment over unmet expectations, it’s crucial to remind ourselves that the best memories often come from the unplanned moments.

In the end, our Father’s Day turned out beautifully. We enjoyed a lovely brunch by the water, and as Sadie napped, we discussed dreams for the future—something we might have missed had we stuck rigidly to our original plan.

So, to all the parents navigating the unpredictable waters of toddlerhood, I encourage you to embrace the unexpected. After all, the joy of parenting lies not just in the planned adventures but also in the delightful surprises along the way.

How do you manage your expectations with your little ones? I’d love to hear your stories in the comments!

Until next time, keep rolling with the punches!

The Ultimate Baby Registry Guide: Essentials, Avoidables, and Must-Haves for New Parents

As we navigate the delightful waters of impending parenthood, there’s a lot to consider, especially when it comes to setting up the perfect baby registry. With the exciting news of Baby Boy O’s debut on the horizon, my sister-in-law reached out for some guidance. As a new mama myself, I was thrilled to share insights from my own experience crafting a registry for my little triceratops, Sadie. Let’s dive into the items to skip, the essentials, and some practical tips to make your baby registry a breeze!

What NOT to Include on Your Registry:

Clothes Galore: While adorable outfits are a staple baby gift, resist the urge to pack your registry with them. Expect a deluge of clothes in sizes 0-3 months and 3-6 months. Instead, request a few items in various sizes and seasonal options to ensure you’re covered throughout the year.
Bath Accessories: Sure, bath towels, washcloths, and baby wash are nice gifts, but you’ll likely end up with an overwhelming collection. Consider skipping these unless you have a specific preference. Our pediatrician recommended unscented baby wash to avoid allergic reactions—trust me, it’s a game changer!
Blankets, Blankets, and More Blankets: You will receive countless blankets, so it’s wise to refrain from requesting more. However, adding a few swaddling blankets is a smart move, as they are incredibly useful in those early days.
Stuffed Animals: These cute companions are lovely, but you’ll likely find your collection overflowing. Unless there’s a specific plush you have your heart set on, leave this off your list.

What to Include: Your Checklist

If I were to rebuild my registry, here’s what I would prioritize based on what has truly made a difference in our journey:

Baby Breeza Bottle Sterilizer and Dryer Advanced
Munchkin Bristle Bottle Brush, Dr. Brown Bottle Soap
Baby Wrap (Zoberlo is perfect for bonding and hands-free convenience)
Baby Changing Pad & Disposable Pads
Bottle Warmer
Pampers Baby Wipes Aqua Pure, Triple Paste Diaper Rash Cream, Munchkin Diaper Trash Bags
Doona Car Seat and Stroller Combo
Dr. Brown Fold and Freeze Bottle Tote (this nifty item has become a lunch bag for daycare!)
Baby Bathtub
Boogie Wipes, Pedia-Lax, Zarabees Cough Syrup, Camilla Teething Drops, FeverAll, Baby Vicks, Zarabees Baby Nasal Spray
Frida Nail Clipper & NeilMed Naspira Plus Nasal Oral Aspirator
Books

A Note on Diapers: I recommend avoiding adding diapers to your registry. Each baby is unique, and what works for one might not work for another. For us, Honest Diapers were a hit early on, but we later found that the Vons brand worked even better for Sadie.

Crib Considerations: We initially went for a mini crib that transforms into a toddler bed. In hindsight, a bedside bassinet would have been a more practical choice for those early months. Also, don’t shy away from used baby gear! Facebook Marketplace can be a treasure trove for gently-used items.

Diaper Bags and Beyond: For diaper bags, I treated myself to a stylish Kate Spade bag that doubles as a work bag later. We also have a functional backpack for daycare. But honestly, I often resort to a small canvas tote for quick outings—it’s just enough for the essentials!

Lastly, I opted out of including bottles on my registry since I wasn’t sure which would suit Sadie best. We tried a variety, and she ended up loving the Philips Avent Natural Response Baby Bottle.

At the end of the day, remember that your registry is about making life easier. The essentials boil down to a reliable car seat and stroller combo and a cozy bassinet. Those first few months are all about bonding with your little one and helping them navigate their brand-new world outside of mama’s belly!

Happy registry crafting—may your journey into parenthood be filled with joy, laughter, and a sprinkle of adventure!

From Co-Sleeping to Independence: Navigating New Horizons

On Friday night, I tucked Sadie into her toddler bed, a cozy little nest of dreams. I sat beside her, surrounded by her beloved books, as we shared our nightly ritual. I gently patted her back until her eyelids fluttered closed. This moment was bittersweet, marking a transition that tugged at my heartstrings. After a year and four months of co-sleeping, the thought of her sleeping alone felt like a leap into the unknown.

Now, before judgment creeps in, let me share why co-sleeping was the right choice for my family. For starters, I’m a light sleeper—so much so that I once dozed off with a sheet mask on, clutching an uncapped water bottle! Miraculously, I woke up to a moisturized face and a dry bed. Co-sleeping felt natural and safe for us; if I had sensed any danger, I would have opted for the mini crib instead.

During those early months, Sadie was my little shadow, nestled on my chest or riding in a sling as I tackled household chores. I often attempted to lay her down in her mini crib for naps, but she always preferred the warmth of my embrace. Who could blame her? Those snuggly moments, with her tiny body curled up against mine, were pure magic. The thought of placing her alone in a crib at night felt wrong.

As she grew, I began to feel like I was imprisoning her in “baby jail” whenever I laid her down, and my postpartum hormones often had me in tears alongside her. This realization led me to embrace the co-sleeping lifestyle wholeheartedly.

Thanks to our co-sleeping arrangement, our household thrived on a peaceful rhythm. We all managed to sleep soundly through the night, avoiding the dreaded sleep regressions and training nightmares that many parents face. Sadie slept well, and so did Brandon and I.

It also made nighttime nursing a breeze; when she squirmed for food, I could easily oblige. Our nighttime routine continued seamlessly, and before long, she weaned herself off those midnight feeds.

Choosing to co-sleep was my way of easing the challenges of returning to work while ensuring that both Sadie and I got the rest we needed. It’s a delicate balancing act—being a dedicated parent while fulfilling professional responsibilities.

Thus, you can imagine the significance of this new milestone: Sadie now sleeping in her own toddler bed. I won’t lie; I felt a lump in my throat as I realized my baby girl is growing up, inching closer to independence. I’ll miss those sweet morning cuddles and her infectious laughter, even though her bed is just a whisper away. This transition is emotionally challenging, as I grapple with the fact that she’s entering a new developmental stage.

With each phase of her life, I find myself mourning the past. I remember when she transitioned from a fragile newborn to a curious infant, and I wept at the thought of her growing up. Parenting was simpler then; she needed the nurturing of a mother who could embrace her with love and patience.

Now, I look back at photos from her first birthday, marveling at the blossoming spirit that is my daughter. She has gone from taking her first steps to attempting to put on her own shoes in what feels like an instant. Each stage requires a different kind of mother—a mother who respects her growing independence, teaches her boundaries, and nurtures her spirit with love and support.

At times, doubt creeps in. Will I be the mother she needs as she matures? Will I provide the right emotional support? I find solace in knowing I’ve created a safe space for her, but the fear of hindering her growth lingers.

Over the past few nights, we took a significant step together. Sadie is embracing her independence by sleeping in her own bed, and I recognize the importance of this journey for her emotional development. I’m committed to letting her fall asleep in her bed, and if she wakes up and longs for the comfort of our bed, that’s perfectly okay. Every journey starts somewhere.

In this transition, I am reminded that I am also evolving as her mother. This is not just Sadie’s growth; it’s ours. Together, we navigate the beautiful, messy, and profound journey of motherhood—one bedtime at a time.

When Patience Wavers: A Mama’s Reflection on Raising Her Voice

Hey there, amazing mamas!

I had every intention of sharing my top suggestions for a baby registry today, but something unexpected happened that felt too important not to share. I know I’m not alone in this journey, and perhaps my experience might resonate with you.

Upon returning home with my spirited 16-month-old daughter, Sadie, from daycare, she hopped into her little car and eagerly gestured for me to push her around. Now, I found myself in a bit of a pickle: I desperately needed to use the restroom! So, I pushed her car into the house, hoping to make a quick detour to the bathroom. But as I did, Sadie began to whine, insisting she wanted to be pushed outside around the neighborhood. I paused just short of the bathroom, and as I hurried to accommodate my bladder, I could feel the tension rising.

While I sat down on the toilet, Sadie’s whines turned into full-blown protests. “Sadie, I’m going peepee. It’s okay!” I reassured her, trying to keep my patience intact. But then, feeling overwhelmed, I raised my voice, “Sadie, knock it off. You’re going to be okay!”

In that moment, time froze. Sadie looked at me, wide-eyed and confused. Even Brandon, who was on the phone, fell silent. I realized I had lost my cool for the first time, and I felt like the worst mom in the world for raising my voice.

To make matters worse, I didn’t even apologize. I simply helped her back into the car and took her outside, where we enjoyed a leisurely walk around the neighborhood. Sadie happily turned the wheel and honked the horn, completely unaware of the inner turmoil I was feeling.

Later, I opened my parenting book, Hunt, Gather, Parent by Michaeleen Doucleff, and stumbled upon a profound truth: “Getting angry isn’t going to solve your problem. It only stops communication between the child and the mom.” Ugh! It hit me hard. I continued reading and learned that yelling makes parenting even more challenging because it causes children to tune us out. Instead of teaching them to behave, we unintentionally teach them that anger is the solution.

Each time I raised my voice at Sadie, I was modeling a reaction I never intended for her to mimic. The book emphasized that when we manage our emotions, we teach our children a calmer, more composed way to handle their frustrations. It’s a gentle reminder to approach our little ones like we would a butterfly on our shoulder: gently, slowly, and softly.

As I absorbed these insights, a sense of calm washed over me. I realized that I can self-correct and change how I interact with Sadie. I strive to give her the best start in life, and I felt a wave of guilt for letting my emotions take the wheel. But I know I shouldn’t beat myself up too much; we all have our moments.

After our walk, Sadie and I shared a lovely evening filled with laughter and connection. We had dinner together, followed by a fun yoga session where I mostly demonstrated the poses while she tried her best to mimic me. It’s fascinating how her emotions and energy mirror my own.

As our calming yoga session concluded, I picked her up, and she wrapped her little arms around me in a warm embrace. We slow danced together, and in that precious moment, I knew my earlier outburst hadn’t scared her away.

How about you, fellow mamas? How have you handled moments of raising your voice or yelling at your kids? What emotions does that stir within you? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

The Real Deal on Birthing Plans: Expect the Unexpected

Good Morning, Beautiful Souls!

Today, my heart is full as I support my girlfriend preparing for the arrival of her third child. In our conversation, she expressed her uncertainty about what to expect, especially since she’ll be induced. She reached out to several friends for their experiences, and while we all shared openly, the truth is that childbirth is a unique journey for every mother and every baby. This week, I want to discuss the reality of birthing plans—essentially, why it’s often best not to have one.

Many expectant parents hear about the importance of crafting the “perfect” birthing plan. If you’re a first-time parent, this idea can feel vital for ensuring everything goes smoothly on that monumental day. However, my own pregnancy journey taught me a surprising lesson.

As I explored various pregnancy books, I found myself enchanted by the concept of an ideal birthing plan. I pictured every detail, from the soothing scents of essential oils to the perfect playlist accompanying my labor. It all felt so romantic and serene.

However, a flicker of doubt led me to consult my circle of seasoned moms. To my astonishment, nearly all of them advised against creating a rigid birthing plan. Initially shocked—especially as someone who thrives on organization—I began to grasp their reasoning. They explained that a detailed plan could lead to unrealistic expectations and disappointment if things didn’t unfold as I had imagined. The most significant decisions for expecting mothers revolve around where to deliver and who will be in the room with them—whether that’s a doula, midwife, partner, or family member.

Taking their sage advice to heart, I decided against a formal birthing plan and instead focused on what truly mattered. Brandon and I toured the hospital, familiarizing ourselves with the environment. This way, it wouldn’t feel foreign when the time came, easing any anxiety I might have about delivering our baby girl. Learning about the techniques the labor nurses would employ provided both of us with comfort and confidence as we approached the birth of Sadie.

So, was I satisfied with my choice to forgo a detailed plan? Absolutely! My birthing experience turned out to be far from what I had envisioned and it was still a beautiful experience. I was induced at 40 weeks due to complications associated with high-risk pregnancies—after all, I was considered a “geriatric” mother at 39 years old.

Upon arriving at the hospital, I was given half a pill late Friday evening, and we settled in to wait. By Saturday morning, my water broke spontaneously, and labor began immediately. Although I initially wanted to hold off on receiving an epidural, the delivery nurses assured me that relaxation was essential for both me and baby, as tension could lead to unnecessary stress. At around 3 cm (if I recall correctly), I opted for the epidural, but my body reacted unpredictably. I could still feel the contractions in a small area, referred to as a “window,” on my left side. Ultimately, due to my petite upper pelvic bone, I ended up needing a c-section after 18 hours of labor and reaching 8 cm dilation. I made the decision for a c-section because my baby had regressed to 6cm, and my body was becoming inflamed. Once I made that choice, Sadie was born within 30 minutes, and it was a magical moment to witness my sweet baby open her eyes for the very first time, taking in the world around her.

Reflecting on my experience, I believe that holding on to a detailed birthing plan would have caused unnecessary stress and anxiety when things didn’t align with my original vision. Embracing flexibility allowed me to adapt as the situation evolved.

The key takeaway about childbirth is this: it is inherently unpredictable. Some experiences are smooth and easy, while others can be quite challenging. A rigid birthing plan often fails to accommodate the need for flexibility during labor and delivery. The primary goal of any birthing plan should always be the safe arrival of your baby and the well-being of you, the momma bear! While our birthing story had its difficulties, it only heightened the joy of finally meeting my baby.

I invite you to share your own experiences in the comments below. Did you create a birthing plan, or did you find yourself rolling with the punches? What advice would you offer to new, expecting moms navigating this exciting journey?

A Mother’s Day Reflection: Honoring the Journey

This past weekend, we celebrated Mother’s Day in our home—a day filled with love, laughter, and a touch of delightful chaos. With our little whirlwind, Sadie, at the center of it all, I found myself reflecting on the mother I am today and the mother I’m becoming. It was a heartwarming reminder that motherhood isn’t just about the big moments; it’s the everyday giggles, tantrums, and cuddles that truly make this experience meaningful.

This year felt like a unique gift: Brandon stepped up to handle all the household duties, allowing me to truly savor our time together. One of my favorite moments was when he playfully chased Sadie and I around our home, her delighted squeals filling the air as we darted from room to room. When Brandon finally caught us, he wrapped his arms around us like a cozy blanket, and we all laughed and hugged one another. Those moments of pure joy and connection were far sweeter than any bouquet of flowers or box of chocolates.

This weekend, I simply didn’t want to miss a single giggle or discovery, so I set my device aside and immersed myself in the joy of being with my family, fully embracing my role as a mom. As I watched Sadie zoom around, her laughter echoing through the house, I felt grateful to be present for these charming moments. Her eyes sparkled with excitement over the smallest discoveries, and I cherished the adorable tantrum over pantry access. Yes, even the three not-so-pleasant diaper changes brought a sense of joy and connection. Each of these tiny moments has deepened my appreciation for the here and now.

However, this special day is about more than personal celebrations; it’s a tribute to the incredible journey we all share as mothers. Reflecting on these past 16 months of caring for my soon-to-be toddler, I’ve come to understand that parenting is fueled by love, grace, and selflessness. It also brings a whirlwind of emotions—some uplifting and others challenging.

While you can do all the right things, nothing truly prepares you for the road ahead—nothing equips you for the shame and guilt that can arise. I still remember the first time I felt the heavy weight of shame, just a few days postpartum. During a heartfelt conversation with Brandon about my c-section, I revealed that I had actually hoped for one. Admitting my fears about natural delivery made me feel vulnerable and judged. But in that moment of uncertainty, Brandon wrapped his arms around me, reminding me that how I brought Sadie into the world doesn’t define my worth. Despite his unwavering support, I still struggle with feelings of shame.

I also grapple with guilt when I take time for myself. I often feel that prioritizing my own needs makes me selfish. There’s a constant pressure to be available and selfless for Sadie, especially since I chose to conceive and embrace parenthood. I worry about missing out on her growth and development. Just today was particularly challenging with her teething, but because I took some time for myself earlier in the day, I was able to exercise patience. In that moment, I heard her proudly say “anana” as she ate a banana.

I’m learning that moments of self-care are essential; they help prevent burnout and allow me to be there for my baby girl. Because there’s a certain magic in those quiet moments—snuggling on the couch while reading her favorite story, her tiny fingers tracing the illustrations, and watching her face light up with wonder. These moments can slip by if I’m not careful. I want to cherish these cuddly moments while they last. When I carve out time for myself, in whatever capacity that may be, I can be exactly the parent she needs—imperfect, yet patient, loving, and fully engaged. I remind myself that I’m not doing anything wrong and that I am not a bad parent.

Parenting is obviously not without its difficulties, and I have immense respect for those who navigate this path as single parents. Both Brandon and I were raised by single mothers, and we recognize the incredible strength it took for them to manage every scare, every sickness, and every emotional moment on their own. Our mothers bore our pain. They were strong even when they felt weak. They remained constant and available, with arms wide open and silent prayers flowing from their hearts. This journey tested and stretched them in ways they could never have anticipated—but our mothers dug deep, fought back, and never gave up. Even when it was tough, they knew, just as I know, that we are made for this role. The strength of our mothers, and of all parents, is beyond comprehension.

This Mother’s Day, I chose to honor single parents by contributing to a nonprofit. I donated a Costco pack of diapers to our church’s diaper drive, supporting single parents in our community. If you’re financially or physically able, I encourage you to join me in helping parents and children in need within your community.

I want to extend my heartfelt wishes to all the amazing caregivers out there. I hope you had a joyful Mother’s Day and felt truly celebrated for the incredible “mama” or “papa” bears that you are. Let’s continue to extend our compassion beyond our own families, both now and in the future. Together, we can uplift our communities and support one another through the complexities of motherhood. After all, it is a true privilege to love these little munchkins we call our babies!

I’d love to hear about the nonprofits you support—please share in the comments!